Magic Lantern

After a turbulent start and a worried mind. I set off straight from work in Petersfield to Newhaven ferry port. I was heading to Dieppe for a mini bikepacking adventure. My primary goal was to test my sleeping kit and my ability to cycle on the wrong side of the road for a few days.  I wanted to get into the TCR mindset of being in a foreign land and figuring stuff out on my own. Starting things off negatively I had been experiencing some discomfort behind my knee for a few days prior. Me being me. I was worrying about the pain, where it came from and if a 350mile weekend of riding was going to do it any favours? 

I was on the road with the wind behind back and there was no turning back. I arrived at Newhaven in very good time. I now needed to get inside the mindset I was going to have a good time also and just deal with my niggle. There was a small gathering of other cyclists, all on a similar trip. The Dieppe to Paris trip is a staple ride for all abilities. Due to the generous price tag of the ferry and accessible car-less, Avenue Verte. 



Speaking to the other riders I was asking them how many days it was going to take them any they responded with..

“3-4 days, going to take It easy and enjoy the views.” 

When I was asked, I responded with 

“Well I would like to be in Paris for lunch.” 

They looked at me in a muddled state. They probably thought that I was a sad git trying to be the big man and do this ride all by my own in such an ambitious time. But I did not care, this was pure TCR training. I had given up what people thought about me a long time ago.

"All aboard!" 

We boarded the ship at around 10pm it was a rush to get a comfortable seat. I was slumped down with a chatty pair of girls who obviously were not to interested in the idea of sleep nor cycling to Paris for lunch the next day. I had to phase them out with my whale noises. My plan worked and managed to get around 3 hours kip. 

Awake, I quickly grabbed a black coffee and croissant before arrival. Getting the bikes on & off the boat was a harmless pleasure. It was good that we did not have to dismantle the bikes like flying. The border guard didn't even look at me nor my ticket. 

Touring involves lots of fiddling

4am and I was off. Passing a lot of the other riders and saying my farewells. I knew we would not cross paths again. A chilly morning.  I started with a high tempo to get my blood bubbling. I knew that it was going to be dark for the next 4 hours so covering as much ground along the Avenue Verte seemed responsible.  The pain in back of my knee was lingering but was mild when the legs eventually got warm. 

Was quite surreal cycling in a new land at night with slightly different quirks.  44miles in, I began to get hungry and saw that it was 7:15am. I had made strong time.  Breakfast No.2 time! Passing through a small town with a hotel. I poked my head in and they agreed to give me a full continental buffet for 8 euros. I was not going to get anything else at this hour. The coffee & croissant tasted good, and so did the idea of ploughing more miles.  The sun was shining in Normandy and I was feeling good. I was making good ground on the road to Paris. 

All the French goodies

The heat increased and so did my stuffiness and discomfort. I was half way though the Vexin Français Regional Nature Park. I was sweating hard. I needed another wee break and to rip off these extra layers. It’s amazing how wearing extra layers when you are warm can negatively effect your performance. It was only 11:15am and was only 43 miles away from Paris.  I took a 10 minutes’ break for an apple & boshed another electrolyte pod in my bidon. I had not been eating enough. 



Refreshed and de-layered I felt like a new man. I was plodding along at good speed. I could smell Paris. It was here when the route became a little hairy & little less simple. I planned on taking a long detour on the West side of the city to avoid the brutal busy roads. This always comes at a price of going down gravel roads and non-tarmac trails. The heat was up now and some unexpected steep gravel climbs, granted that I had to dig deep a little. 

Quite enjoyed these forest trails. My Diverge handled them beautifully

I got the Eiffel tower for about 2:30pm. I was happy with that. So, I grabbed an ice cream, a can coke & of course my victory photo. Rejuvenated, I was on my way again. I managed to see the Arc d triumph. However, the traffic loaded 4 lane roundabout was increasing with aggression dramatically, it was rush hour Friday… I had to escape Paris. 



Vincent my WarmShowers contact said he was cooking dinner for me at 19:00. It was another 20miles West, back the way I came. It was a stressful ride navigating through the busy traffic & the heat of the city. However, this was excellent mental training for the TCR. So I got into the pulsating rhythm of Paris.



I arrived in Andrésy for about 18:35. The mileage for the day was 160 miles. Tired and hungry. Vincent was a warm warm shower welcome, he happily took my bike into his work shop garage. He spoke immaculate English and shook my hand strongly. He was a true French rider, he had ridden PBP (Paris, Brest, Paris) 3 times. His garage was littered with bikes and parts. Some  immaculate Peugeot frames and  a tandem caught my eye. After a quick cold shower and freshen up. We sat down for dinner. Vincent had cooked special Duck, sauté potatoes and sweet cabbage. I could of eaten anything at this point but this was very good. He poured me a glass of red wine and we immediately got talking all things bike. Especially long distance riding. I told him that I was planning on riding the TCR. He knew that I was not messing around. He jumped into the big tech questions of Routing & GPS devices. After an apple for desert I was wasted. I told him that I only got about 3hours sleep on the boat and was planning on riding to Rouen the next day so he understood that I needed an early night. The bed I was put on was a firm comfortable mattress, I was out in 30seconds. 

The kind French man's workshop

After a ‘lie in’ of 7am I was awake and had things to do. The pain in the back of my knee was back. My left leg felt very stiff and sore. I knew that I needed to stretch and warm the muscles. Vincent had said he had a nice route for me. He proposed that I follow the Seine river to Rouen.  He knew the area well and what roads are cycle friendly etc. I did not object and he plotted me a route while I popped to the super market to grab some fuel. Vincent held me in his garage for a bit and seemed very curious about my bike and all the kit I had been using. The aero bars, disc brakes, the saddle, the bike bags and the tyres. Where all very different to what he has been using for decades. I felt that I was using all the new and fancy tech which I am native too. I am young & only have been riding properly for 3 years. However, after the chatter I was on the road again.

"Au revoir Vincent. Merci de me laisser reposer!"

I was on the road again for 10am. A little later than expected and a little sorer than expected. On top of that it was Raining. It was not the best start to the ride, as mentality is everything when riding a bike.  I felt a bit poo and was not inspired to ride. 10miles in I saw a Billboard sign for a McDonalds. I wanted some big warm shit calories as I only had a small cold healthy breakfast. I rocked up to the most international restaurant in the world and got my feed on. I wanted some music time and zombie out on my phone for a bit whilst the rain died down. Obviously during the TCR I would not be this lazy, however this was not the TCR. I was just leisurely touring. 

The rain did clear and I felt immediately better after getting some more food in me. I was out of the busy roads too & feeling positive. Some nice climbs got me feeling good and was enjoying the high river views. The odd feed stop at the local village bakery’s was always enjoyable experience, gluten here tastes leagues better than any of the crap you buy from Greggs. 

French Bakery's everyday

I arrived In Rouen at around 17:00 all I and wanted was Pizza & Beer. After a quick mooch around the beautiful old city taking a few snaps of the cathedral. I managed to convince a cool looking pizza man to fire up his ovens early as I had been on a ‘Long Voyage’ and needed a feed.  After 4 big sizes of pizza I had to think what my next plan of action was. I planned on Bivying but the weather was not looking welcoming. 

However I knew a hotel would break my bank. I googled local forests and hopped on the bike and went for it. Light was starting to Fade and I needed to sort something quick. I went down a wooded trail and was chased by a house dog. A little nipper but very aggressive, this certainly got my heart going, again was good training for the TCR…



Two or three miles now down the forest track I was fed up off looking for a spot.  I wondered deep into the bush carrying my bicycle. It was my first time doing this stealth camping but I knew I wanted something covered, hidden and flat.  I found my perfect spot and set up camp. It was still light so it was easy enough to grab all my sleeping kit from my elephant saddle bag. It was all verysurreal, the forest felt very alive & full of life. The noises of birds and insects where all around me. I lay on my sleeping pad, initially I felt anxious as I could hear dogs and distant French chatter. It was hard to get comfortable as I felt so exposed. However, darkness descended.  I began to feel more comfortable and relaxed in my strange forest bivvy bubble. It took me about 2 ½ hours to get to sleep. I woke a few times in the night but overall managed to get about 5hours sleep. Was happy with that. Comfort 5.3/10, Enjoyment 10/10. Video below.



I work up chipper as the spring sun hit my eyelids through the forest canopy. I manged to oversleep and was up at 7:30am. I hit the road at 8:00am. It was liberating experience knowing I could now sleep anywhere & and not get lost . I was heading to the coast and was aiming for another relaxing day of gentle cruising with a few nice climbs. I arrived at Dieppe a few hours premature. Cheerfully I indulged in sandwiches, ice cream & beer with the beautiful sun goddess. Overall a pleasant warm day by the coast of France. Although I was a little crusty & tired by this point and ready for a proper bed & some English air. Luckily I managed to get some more sleep amongst the rampage of children on the Ferry. When arriving back at Newhaven it Was a nice treat to be collected by Soph, and indulge in another McDonald's. I had the legs to have ridden back to Portsmouth but frankly could not be arsed! Overall a liberating training & kit testing weekend that went exactly to plan on a tight budget. Above all no bullshit! 



Merci France =)