Festive 500 2016





Many things have changed in my life since I completed last year’s Festive 500. Some things great, some not so much. But I feel I’ve grown a lot, both physically and mentally.

Festive 500 2015 was a big step for me and my riding. It showed me that you can push a lot harder than you think and, since then, I have ridden several Audaxs, bike tours, LEJOG & even my first criterium race. It started the journey that led me to applying for the 2017 Transcontinental Bike Race this August, so completing F500 2016 was a given. It’s become a festive tradition when I can happily dedicate a week with no work to family, friends and the bike.

It would be a step backwards if I did not complete it...



(Artists representation of me riding the Festive 500)

To quite literally get the challenge rolling I needed a new rear wheel. The rim was starting to rapidly decay and the aluminium around the spoke nipples had started to split, down to the relentless cycle of commuting and long rides I put my Kinesis wheels through. At this point, 3 different bike mechanics strongly advised me not to ride and I was desperately seeking a disc specific 700C road wheel. As disc specific road wheels have only been around for couple years and the technology is still quite new, finding one proved harder that I thought.  Eventually a good deal was sourced & I scored a Mavic Aksium wheel for £85 on Christmas Eve. The mechanic was also kind enough to swap cassette and disc for no extra cost. At this poit I’d like to say a big up to CycleSurgery In Hemel Hempstead, I couldn't have done this challenge without your help.




(Nasty cracks starting to appearing all over rim) 




(Fresh new hoop)


Instead of doing lots smaller rides, which I did last year, I broke the back of the challenge in two big ones. The first was cycling to my Sister’s new partner’s parents house in Warwick on Boxing Day. I had never ridden around there, so I was up for the 89 mile adventure through the scenic Chilterns and beyond. The Northern headwind was relentless, although it still an enjoyable ride exploring new lanes. I was welcomed warmly by Luke's father; also an avid cycling enthusiast & tourer.





(Me in my lovely new kit)


The second big ride was on the 27th, and had been planned a few weeks back with a chap called SuperSam, who I met at Mike Hall's Valleycat. Sam is a lean bean of a chap with an incredible anaerobic capacity and he too wanted to be a contender for the TCR 2017. I first knew this ride was going to be a big push meeting at an uncomfortably cold Chorleywood station at 7am. Sam's strong tempo was immediately a jolt to my system, as were rolling fast though Chesham. I knew that I was going to have to eat my bananas double time to keep up this lean beast. However, as the day progressed, my legs warmed up and I was soon flying up the climbs, in what was a great day in the saddle.




(Sam was adamant on starting this route early as possible. I think I understand why now. We did get back just before nightfall)

The rest of the miles were meant to be a soft touch and I was staying with my lovely lady Sophie, who lives in central Reading. She allowed me to escape her talon’s clutches so I could make the miles in her neck of the woods. She’s never been super keen on my cycling habit, due to the trail of clutter I inevitably leave behind and her deep-seated jealousy of the bike. However she secretly understands and supports me, knowing that it benefits both me and her both, what with all that stamina.

(I was too busy riding and not taking lots of photos like a Chinese instagrammer. Sorry Rapha)


My first ride of this final leg was a gentle misty 40mile loop to Newbury and back. I got visited my recently former workplace, Vodafone HQ. It was a nice trip down memory lane and a happy reminder that I’ll never have to visit that place ever again. I hammered it home in good time and was welcomed by a lovely cold lunch of salad and leftover Dominos, followed by a mid-range Harry Potter flick.








My final ride to get me up to the 500km mark was a loop around Pangbourne and Henley and I was enthusiastic to explore some new lanes. However, that night however was perhaps the coldest night Southern England has had in decades. This didn’t phase me and I woke early that morning early at eager to get rolling. Although my kit was still stinky and wet from yesterdays ride I was just really hungry to finish this thing now. My legs were now immune to the cold and the lactic acid so I smashed down a bowl of fruit & nut muesli and got going. Immediately I saw the roads were very icy, but the sun was shining strong. I was sure by the time I hit the lanes it would have thawed out. How naive I was. Whitchurch hill was the first major climb that hit me out of nowhere. This thing was an unexpected 15% beast that just kept on taking. However I’m a giver and that just got my juices flowing and ready to roll. Going up another treacherous lane 10 miles later I immediately felt the unpredictable ice under my 30mm winter tyres. 


It was unsteady at best. Seeing a Nissan Micra who had skidded into the bush at bottom of the long, gentle climb didn’t fill my heart with confidence either. The black ice just got more fierce and unpredictable but I continued on riding up these glacial monstrosities like a mad man, glancing back and forth at my Garmin. The climb started to punch up a bit but this is when a large BMW estate came pounding through. I pulled over abruptly and lost control of both wheels, hitting the deck. I banged my right hip and knee but my wrist took most of the impact. However it wasn’t an intense or high speed tumble, and I’ve had worse. That said I was still pissed off and frustrated. I fucking hate falling, it’s only two letters away from failing.


At this point I was more concerned about the state of the bike than the state of my body. Derailleurs are fragile, expensive and they normally have a domino affect damaging other bike components. I was deep in the boonies with no help or chance as Sophie didn’t have her car. Luckily my bike was intact with only a slightly buckled front wheel, something I was used to as a seasoned commuter. I pushed on well under 8mph, up this slippy fish of n climb. The intensity of the sun was growing, but so was the pounding inflammation in my knee and hip from the fall. Tumbles like this can really affect your morale. I was so eager to finish this ride so I could finally claim my fucking festive roundel. I sucked up the pain and ate a chocolate hobnob with a splash of electrolyte H20. I’ve found food always helps temperament and, once I reached Henley, the rest was downhill. The coffee shop stop would have to wait. I'm not much of a social cyclist. I ride for my personal enjoyment, and not for social gathering and banter. I like to be alone and escape people, almost punishing myself in the process (although falling off my bike was a bit too much punishment).
(Team Sky's secret training fuel...)

I eventually took a detour from the forever frosty lanes and hit the busy A-roads of Berkshire, with all the 4x4 Christmas shopping drones. It was a little less pleasant, but less icy and more safe. I arrived back home, treating myself to a sprint finish in time for coffee and lunch, with 510km overall. At the end of it all I was just happy to arrive home without concussion, a snapped femur or a broken derailleur.

(Happy the challenge had been completed with a day to spare)

This year the Festive 500 was a little less challenging for me than it was last year as my strength and confidence on the bike have both greatly improved, it still came with its own abundance of challenges. It was nice to see a good spread of family and not put on any weight over the Holidays for once! I know that 2017 will be a big year of riding for me and I can’t wait. Watch this space.

Thanks again Rapha for the challenge and see you next year! Next time, I’m just going to do it all in one ride.


Strava Accounthttps://www.strava.com/athletes/5164164